This Sunday, will I be going to church? No.
Will I be going out to lunch? No.
Will I get to see any friends or family that I don’t live with? No.
This Sunday is my birthday and I will be “celebrating” the day at home.
Last year the kids and I went to the beach and it was so wonderful, I declared it to be a new birthday tradition. So much for that.
And yet it seems, judging by social media and traffic patterns in my neighborhood, that most people *would* go to the beach to celebrate a birthday. They *would* go to a restaurant with friends and family. They *would* go to church.
What’s the difference? Why them and not me? It’s the same as it’s always been. I’m a rule-follower.
Regardless of your personal opinions about the pandemic, the rules (whether legally enforceable or just strongly-worded recommendations) are pretty clear. And regardless of my personal opinions, I follow those rules. I cover my face everywhere except my own house. I try not to get close to people (easy). I try to get people to stay the heck away from me (harder). And mostly I stay home.
But it seems like a lot of people are rule-breakers, just like they always have been. The girl from high school who lied about being in a service org so she could get into the National Honor Society is now putting on a trendy, printed mask and going on an out-of-state vacation with everyone she doesn’t live with, then coming home, ignoring travel-related quarantine restrictions, and going back out to her job.
Is she going to singlehandedly cause an outbreak of the virus and kill innocent thousands? I don’t know or care. But she’s a rule-breaker.
Some might say I’m jealous and they would be absolutely right. It doesn’t matter if I believe masks save lives or if I believe I should be able to see my friends and family. The rules have been made and they should be followed. Most people are fine breaking them, but I can tell you, Murphy’s Law or whatever, if I broke the rules, bad things would happen to me. I’d get fined or jailed or sick… I’m not an exception.
And what really stinks is, I’m going to lose people in my life who are important to me. I really do suspect everyone is hanging out without me. Now, most of the time I wouldn’t be included anyway. But because *I follow the rules* I haven’t been able to hang out with the people I *would* otherwise want to hang out with. Do they understand I’m just being an obedient citizen? Or are they business-as-usual and have written me off because I’m holed up at home?
I don’t know if I’ll even publish this, but it does feel good to get it off my chest. Anyway, as I mentioned, I am jealous. It hurts me to see people being social when I know it’s not the “right” thing to do, and it prompts me to take a break from what little social media involvement I have left.
Please don’t comment. I’d turn off the option if I knew how. The truth is, the situation has me in quite a depression and the last thing I want to do is defend my position.
The Coffeeless Mom 