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Today has not been a good day.  

 

I debated on posting pictures of smiling faces and pretending everything was just peachy, but I’m not a liar.  

 

The weeks… no, the MONTHS leading up to this birthday have been some of the most difficult for me, emotionally. There have been many, many days I wished I could stay in bed crying. Of course, that helps nobody, so I get up, slap on a smile, and do what I have to do, day after day and week after week.  

 

My beach trip last year was wonderful, but it became clear that it wouldn’t be possible to take the same trip this year. Masks on the beach? No thank you.  

 

So I had a choice. I could stay at home and celebrate as much or as little as I chose, or I could go somewhere else. I decided last night to go for a hike today. Thank you to the people who chose to make me feel bad about my decision. I will remember that feeling always. The gift that keeps giving.  

 

Now, I don’t know what I thought “Ledges” meant in the phrase “Whipps Ledges.” I went to Nelson Ledges as a kid and thought it was awesome. Climbing over rocks, squeezing through narrow passages, jumping over cracks in the rock that were just wide enough to be challenging and just high enough to be threatening. I loved the danger. But as an adult, I took my kids to Twinsburg Ledges and never at any point did I think anyone was going to die. 

 

Whipps Ledges is more like Nelson Ledges. Lots of rocks to climb over and steep drop-offs. It’s not a place you want to visit if you have young kids, in my opinion. Of course, it didn’t occur to me before going there to check up on the terrain. I’m sure I could have found some info on the web that would have persuaded me to go elsewhere or, better yet, stay the heck home and eat your ice cream cake.  

 

It was the toughest hike I’ve been on as an adult. I lost my way. I lost my water bottle. I lost my interest in going hiking ever again, really.  

 

I wish I could slap on a happy face, chalk it up to experience, and call the day a partial success. Maybe with time, I’ll be able to remember this day happily. But for the moment, I’m just glad it’s over.